Vince "The Shamwow Guy" Shlomi has a bad night

This is the photo of a man that had a rough night. Evidently Shlomi was partying with a hooker in Miami back in February when they retired to his high dollar hotel room at the Setai in South Beach. Rooms are roughly $750 a night, so evidently the ShamWow and SlapChop are recession proof.

Once financial arrangements were made, the two proceeded to take care of business. Evidently Shlomi overstepped somewhere along the way because when he tried to kiss her, said hooker clamped down on his tongue and refused to let go. So Shlomi beat the crap out of her. The Smoking Gun has the full story. In the end, both Shlomi and the cannibal hooker were arrested leading to the too-good-to-make-up mugshot on the left. My five favorite things about this photo:

1. The sweet hospital gown/shirt Vince is sporting. Nothing like going straight from the ER to the pokey.
   
2. The pimp daddy coat with fur collar being worn in Miami...in March
3. The blood all over his face - the hooker must have done some serious munching on his tongue
4. The "I can't believe a hooker almost bit my tongue off and I'm the one that got arrested" look on his face
5. The inevitable "and it can be used as a turniquet when a hooker tries to bite off your tongue" example in the next ShamWow infomercial.

At least we now know why Shlomi got kicked out of the Church of Scientology. What kind of a nutball douchebag do you have to be when the Scientologists don't even want you?

March Madness is bad

According to the Council of Compulsive Gambling of New Jersey, the NCAA College Basketball Tournament and the madness that ensues is evil incarnate. The council issued a press released today blaming the tournament for creating gambling rushes at a very early age for some basketball fans that leads them down the path of destruction later in life. Here's a quote from the release:

March Madness is a highlight of the year for many sports fans. Many alumni and fans actively root for their team and support their preferences with a bet. Some people, however, bet beyond their means and become focused on the tournament to the exclusion of daily responsibilities. Excitement easily turns to depression, debt and desperation.

March Madness office pools attract a large number of people who have not gambled before. Donald Weinbaum, Executive Director of the Council on Compulsive Gambling of New Jersey, says “A percentage of adolescents and adults who gamble on these games will eventually get addicted to the action … the rush … the thrill of sometimes winning … and will become problem or compulsive gamblers. Without treatment, their lives will become progressively worse.” What starts as an innocent pastime can become a catalyst and gateway for other gambling and eventually devastation.

Lighten up Francis. To read this release, you would think that half the US population is walking around in a gambling stupor betting on whether the homeless guy on Market Street will take a leak on the tree or do it right on the sidewalk. Always bet on the tree btw...it's a sure thing.

Analysts estimate that $7 billion is wagered every year on March Madness pools across the US. Millions of American adults take part in what has become a huge part of American sports culture. To say that the entire tournament is bad because a few derelicts end up gambling away their savings account at some point down the road is absurd. I'll bet you $100 no one takes this report seriously.

ARod loves himself enough for all of us

I saw this photo while surfing around yesterday and when I saw it again on the Game On blog this morning, I had to post it. The photo is from a story in Details about ARod, which I hear is a giant fluff piece with little in the way of news or explanation about his recent on and off field issues.

But let's get back to the photo which is, in a word, ridiculous. First off, he's freakin' kissing himself! Seriously...the dude is kissing himself so I trust I don't have to explain the ridiculousness of the photo? He's going to catch some serious crap around the MLB for this attempt at art.

Second, the fake guns are a little much. Yeah if I had been doing roids for the last 5 years, I would probably have massive arms too. Seems like he would have thought twice about parading them around at the moment given all the scrutiny he's under. But I suppose vanity is vanity and you can't hold it in when, in the immortal words of Derek Zoolander, you're really really really good looking.

And finally, the bedroom eyes he's throwing himself takes the absurdity of this photo to a whole new level. He seriously looks like he's having trouble keeping himself off himself. Look at the come hither look...that is a man who is seriously attracted to himself. Look out ARod, ARod is watching you.

Jimmy Rollins rocks new spots from Dick's Sporting Goods

The new Dick's Sporting Goods ads starring Philadelphia Phillies shortstop Jimmy Rollins are fantastic. They're funny, engaging, and do a fantastic job showcasing the product, Nike Air Swingman Remax baseball spikes. The ads are all over ESPN right now assuming you have a Dick's in your area. But if you haven't seen it, it's embedded below.



Dick's also has a great spot featuring Lance Armstrong, so what the hell...here it is as well:



Nike must be throwing some big co-marketing dollars in Dick's direction. Either that, or the company simply knows what brand moves merchandise and has decided to focus on Nike above all of their other suppliers. Whatever the case, they should keep doing what they're doing because the spots are awesome. Anyone know what agency is responsible for them? I looked for a while and couldn't find any info on that.

South Park skewers Disney and the Jonas Brothers

This is one of the funniest South Park clips I've ever seen and not just because I think the Jonas Brothers are the biggest waste of space since Vanilla Ice.



If you want to watch the entire episode, which I highly recommend, you can find it on the South Park website.

ESPN excercises its creative muscles with iPod Touch ad

ESPN is taking a page out of YouTube's book with a new ad featuring the iPod Touch on its homepage. While that ad is no longer active this morning, here's a screenshot from yesterday:

The ad uses some Flash tricks to actually manipulate the page while it's running. In the above screenshot you can see how it bounces the navigation tabs around as the iPod Touch twists and moves while playing a typical game. The live effect is really cool and is very similar to what the Wii did with YouTube last year. In that ad, the video playing demo of the game Wario Land: Shake It ends up shaking the underlying YouTube page into a giant pile or rubble. It's very cool.

While the ESPN ad doesn't go to those extremes, it's still a very creative integration nontheless. ESPN has begun pushing the envelope more and more beginning with its edgier redesign in late 2008. By the looks of the iPod ad, they're sprucing up their advertising opportunities in addition to their navigation and visual design.

How to shut your customers up

Don't like what your customers are saying about you? Want to tell them to put a sock in it, but not sure how? Then maybe you should become a customer of a new company started by Dr. Jeffrey Segal in North Carolina.

Dr. Segal has decided that the best way to make sure you have a happy customer is to put a gag order on all of the unhappy ones. To do that, his company creates a EULA that prohibits patients from writing reviews about the service, treatment, or other care they receive from a doctor. You read that right. If your doctor is one of Dr. Segal's customers, you will not be allowed to write anything online about the care or lack thereof that you received.

Seriously Dr. Segal and the rest of the medical community? That's how you decide to embrace, or not embrace, social media. How about taking steps to insure that all of your patients are happy. And if they're not, allow them to voice their valid concerns and displeasure however they deem appropriate. People who don't hear criticism never learn from their mistakes - see the last 8 years of George W. Bush's presidency.

So for all of you other business owners out there, this is not the way to listen to your customers. Instead, try embracing social media and interacting with your customers as a great way to get feedback and learn from your mistakes. Yelp and other similar sites can be powerful tools if they're used correctly. Sure you'll get your fair share of negative reviews, but that's all part of the experience and is truly the only way you'll get better.

Pub crawl with your Snuggie

Yes you read that right. A group of Chicagoans is scheduling Snuggie pub crawls in major cities across the US to raise money for an orphange in Tanzania. Here's the description straight from their website:

In response to the stunning public embrace of the warm and cuddly Snuggie™, the SnuggiePubCrawl.com Team is hosting the first-ever Snuggie™ Pub Crawl in Chicago. Even though it's just a blanket with sleeves, we're sure that you'll enjoy a winter evening spent drinking with friends and the Snuggie™.

I documented the absurdity of the Snuggie a few weeks ago, but the thought of barloads of drunk 20 somethings walking around Chicago wrapped in a backwards robe amuses the hell out of me. From their website it looks like only the Chicago date is finalized, but there are about a dozen other cities on the schedule. If you're interested in helping with the logistics, I'm sure they would love the support. So support your "blanket with sleeves" proudly, if that's possible, and join other drunk Snuggie lovers for a good cause.

Thanks to Jim Nichols at iMedia for covering this.